How To Be A Girl’s Girl 101

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.” -Sex and the City

Welcome back from the weekend ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to another glorious week of Sex and the Suburbs. Apologies on the late entry, you know how it goes. Honestly, I thought today’s post would definitely be a recap about my adventures from going back to college for the weekend, but if we’re being honest, I’d like to keep what’s left of my reputation, so we’ll leave that one to your imagination.

Today we’re gonna talk about one of my favorite subjects other than myself, and that my friends, is the art of being a girl’s girl.

We all know a Jessica.

Jessica is a cute girl, probably thots it up on instagram a few times a month but posts about bible versus the other days out of the calendar year to balance it out, ya know— keeps ya guessing. Jess confuses us because she will be super specific and honest about some things but then super sus and sneaky about pretty much everything else.

Jess likes boys. And while Jessica likes boys for the obvious reason, she will spend most of her time trying to rationalize to the general public about how she “just gets along with guys better” and ThAt’S wHy GiRlS dOn’T LiKe HeR.

Let’s take a few steps back for a sec. Let me just firmly state that having a lot of guy friends does NOT make you a Jessica and does NOT remove you from the “girl’s girl” list. Having a lot of guy friends is the shit, and it balances out the girly girl in all of us; you can honestly be a “guy’s girl” and a “girl’s girl’ at the same time, which actually just means being a normal fucking person and having a diverse group of friends…… but now I’m digressing and starting to not make sense so let’s just cut to the chase here and talk about everything we talk about blackout in the line for the bathroom but could never say sober to each other LADIES.

1. Literally stop fucking each other’s boyfriends/Exes.

Let me just tell you nothing more in this ENTIRE fucking world screams “I am just a hole please enter me because I have no respect for myself” than to befriend a girl, get to know her, and then hook up with their past, present, or future significant other. Like…(?) Not only does it make you look like a total skank ass hoe, but you also just lost the respect of not just one, but probably an entire army of a friend group that is behind their gal that just got hurt. Yes, the guy is wrong here too, we all fucking know that. Guys are scumbags, and most have a brain the size of their dick, we get it, but that doesn’t give an excuse for any girl to be a shitty person just because Brad in Sigma Apple Pie is too. Sex is cool, why the fuck do you think I picked this blog title lol? But I swear to god there is no hook up, no relationship, and ESPECIALLY no MAN that would ever be worth intentionally hurting someone else for your own pleasure. Read that last sentence again. Thanks.

2. Stop talking shit about people you consider your best friends—and just stop talking shit about people who never did anything to deserve it in the first place.

I guess I always thought this was a given because like… I guess I pride myself in not being a trash bag of a human being. But for real, stop making fun of people for the things they have a passion for and love, stop acting fake to girl’s faces, and please for the love of god, stop priding yourself in making someone feel like crap because they aren’t exactly like you. I think the best piece of advice I have ever given anyone was this, so venmo me later cause this is a good one: it is very easy to be mean, it’s actually the most natural reaction when shit doesn’t go your way, but please, always be nice first, because when you’re malicious right out the gates, you will go through hell and back trying to convince people that you’re the nice girl. Take it from someone who has gone years hearing the classic “wow I’m surprised you’re actually SO nice lol” just because I gave the world a cold shoulder from a very young age instead of letting the trauma of my life fuel my sense of humor like I do now HA. Let’s start talking good shit about people, and maybe even (I know this is gonna be so fucking wild) …. Just be nice to each other and actually tell other girls when we like their style, want to get to know them, or love their personalities. Stop living in your fucking glass bubble and start realizing that we’re literally all so similar we just don’t give each other enough time of day to prove so. Mic drop.

3. Stand up for each other #GirlGangOrDie

This one is really important to me and something that hits a little close to home for me lately. Since my serotonin levels are somewhere in my basement and dropping further as we speak, I’m going to be a pansy ass bitch for 2.5 seconds in this entry and then we’re never going to speak of it again okay? I don’t want to brag, but I just want to say that I seriously have the greatest group of girlfriends’ anyone could ever need. One time I was at my boyfriend at the time’s (that’s definitely not the correct verbiage but whatever shut your mouth) fraternity formal in Windsor and my best friend actually punched a random Canadian girl in the face for making fun of me. This psychopath is also the same human being who has confronted countless mean girls for me (and a few guys here and there too); she is actually the epitome of someone who may need a strait jacket, but someone who I could literally count on for anything. So as publicly as we can get here, thanks for being a girl’s girl, and for being my best friend, you know who you are ;). Let’s reel it in really quick though so I can just make it clear that I am NOT suggesting everyone goes out and starts beating the shit out of each other, like actually don’t I really would like to keep this expensive ass domain. What I can suggest though, is that we can all start standing up for our friends, and more importantly, standing up for what’s right. Hold your girl gang accountable, don’t let anyone in your circle become Jessica’s, we are all better than that; let’s start acting like it.

Overall,

Ladies, let me tell you that in the end, when shit hits the fan, when things get real, life gets hard and it isn’t all about who has the skankiest bar outfit and what bar has the best specials that night, you are going to need someone to hold your hand instead of your hair at the end of the night. In the end, you are going to have you are family, you are going to have yourself, and you are going to have your girlfriends. Don’t get me wrong— I am blessed enough in my life to be surrounded by some of the world’s greatest guy friends of all time (seriously like I’m talking phone calls at any hour of the night if I need them kind of friends). But at the end of the day, the women in my life are the only reason I get out of bed some days.  

Please stop putting yourself in a position for a man to be superior to you, or superior to anyone else that has a vagina.

Fix each other’s crowns girls— we’re all on the same team here.

xoxo,

Carlie Bradshaw