If you haven’t figured it out yet, your friendships in your life are all pretty fuckin’ different. We might all be a little similar—we’re all a little psycho, we all make really stupid decisions, we’re all really good looking (LMAO). But regardless of what similarities we share, as a woman, you’ve gotta see that sometimes, the girlfriends you’re throwing back Patron shots with on a Friday, are not the same girlfriends you’re talking about life with on Sunday.
Ladies and gentlemen, we’re talking about friend genres.
Your Party Friends
These bitches are pretty self-explanatory and also pretty surface level. Your party friend is your go-to girl when you’ve had a rough week, you need a drink, or five, and you want to wear something cheetah print and forget your morals. Homegirl probably loves tequila and dancing on elevated surfaces and has the plug to every pregame, every frat basement, and every bar with specials in a 5-mile radius. Your party friend will gas you up in the Uber, text all her side hoes for you so you can get laid, and find the guy at the bar with the largest credit limit on daddy’s card to buy you both drinks all night. When it comes down to it, when the bar lights come on, and the Uber surcharge has skyrocketed, your party friends are your party friends. Don’t expect them to check on your hangover when you’re sober, let alone check on you in general. Your friendship probably started in your college town’s local bar or favorite frat house; lord knows it’ll probably end there too.
Your Pretty Friends
“BuT aLl My FriEndS aRe PrEtTy?” Thanks, Sherlock, so are mine. This genre of friendship isn’t really to do with looks, I just didn’t really want to be rude and title this section “Your Superficial Friend” but here we are. Your pretty friend is the one you go to for the latest beauty trends, what self-tanner you should buy, or what outfit choice goes with the vibe for the night most accurately. Your pretty friend probably filters, edits, and captions all of your Instagram photos and bases your friendship status on whether or not you commented on their last post. Your pretty friend has a stacked closet and frequently lets you borrow whatever you want, but you will never look better than her in it so just remember that. Your pretty friend will probably still like your pictures after graduation, but do NOT even think about being worthy enough for any more comments, shares, etc. after that once she moves to a new town and starts using other girls as her own personal photographer. “You guys are just like…not that close anymore” lol.
Your Bold Friends
These are your friends that tell you how the fuck it is. Your bold friend is there to tell you when you can do better: better relationships, better outfits, and better friends. Your bold friend will always take one for the team, ask the questions everyone’s thinking but are too afraid to ask, and your bold friend will stand up for you no matter how fucking crazy it makes her look. Your bold friend is a tough love kind of gal. She does not sugar coat, she does not spare feelings, and she does not take shit from anyone. Your bold friends are not your go-to when you want a hug, your bold friends are your go-to when you need to get slapped back into reality—don’t forget to flinch. Buck up bitch.
Your Advice Friends
When its 3 am, you feel like the biggest loser alive, and everyone else seems preoccupied with their own happiness, there are always those people you can call and always expect to hear someone on the other line after a short ring or two. Your advice friends are the people that will listen. They will hear you when you rant and rave about how horrible your night is when you want to talk about your struggles, your triumphs, your worries, and everything in between. Your advice friend is someone who genuinely cares, and who will give you an unbiased Birdseye view of your situations no matter how involved or not they are in your life at the time. Your advice friends are so great that I’ve made it through this entire paragraph without swearing because your advice friends are god sent. These friends might not be the first in line at the club, but they’re the first in line when bailing you out of jail in the morning, no questions asked. Hold ‘em tight, you’re very lucky.
Your Best Friends
Finally, the best genre of all, your best friends. Your best friends are the best parts of all the friendship genres combined, they’ll toss ‘em back with you on Friday night, let you raid their closet every night and most definitely let you know how much better you look in their bodysuit than they do, they’ll fight someone for you any day, sugar coat when they need to, and give you advice while in LINE at the club (because you’re probably freaking out about seeing Brad again). Your best friends are the closest things we have in this world to heaven, regardless of how imperfect we all are. I think it’s very easy to forget to appreciate who our real friends are because of all the other friend genres that we entertain simultaneously. Just remember, your best friends are the people who are still gonna be standing there after the party girls leave with your boyfriend, the pretty girl leaves you out for the millionth time, the bold friend makes you cry, and the advice friend is busy bailing somebody else out of jail. Count your blessings, and please, count your BFF’s twice.
Until Monday,
xoxo,
Carlie Bradshaw
Sex & The Suburbs 