No offense to everyone’s smelly boyfriend, but girl(friend)s are historically the superior gift givers (and will continue to be for decades to come). To help the longevity of this title, I have created a V-Day gift guide for all my last-minute girls out there- because let’s be honest, most of you have had your Valentine’s day gifts picked out since January. Unlike the gift guide to keep ya’ll from dumping your boyfriend which was organized by relationship status, this gift guide will be a strict ongoing list because let’s be honest, Valentine’s day is FTG, anything the boys get other than pussy is a consolation prize.
Tickets to an upcoming sporting event:
Boys are dumb- and by dumb, I mean they definitely will not notice if you get a gift that’s technically for both of you. Tickets to a game=endless beers and soft pretzels for you and a happy, entertained boyfriend. It’ll make you look really ~chill~ and it’s also easy as shit so if you’re pushing the last minute envelope- Stub Hub is your bff (there I even linked it lazy bitch).
This may seem like an easy one but it’s also a goody. It also allows you to handpick what your stolen hoodie collection will smell like for the next 200 sprays so choose wisely. For your convenience, I have surveyed all my favorite guys who I don’t mind smelling, for their cologne preference.
Chanel Bleu De Chanel – $125: Chanel Site
Versace Men’s Pour Homme Eau de Toilette Spray– $167: Macys’s Site
Gucci Guilty Pour Homme Eau De Toilette– $122: Gucci Site
Dior Sauvage Parfum– $150: Dior Site
YSL Y Eau De Parfum– $120: YSL Site
Honestly idk why I just think these hats are kinda hot on girls and guys. A couple of these and some chocolate or their fave whiskey is a perfect present for your manz.
Carhartt Acrylic Watch Hat– $15: Carhartt Site
A personalized wine bottle:
A lot of online places do this, but I linked the best one I could find- Cooper’s Hawk also does this sort of thing if you feel like heading to one of those or even reside near one lol. Not only can you gift a stellar bottle of wine to your boothang, but you can also be sentimental and annoying and ENGRAVE IT with something or buy a stick on label with your nude on it or whatever normal people do lol. Little touches like this turn your boring purchase into something kind of cool and something your dude can keep in his sketchy frat bedroom and think of you while he lays in his twin sized bed. Aw ❤
Personalized Etched Wine Bottle– $70: Etched Wine Site
Personalized Wine Label– $35: Etched Wine Site
Alcohol (but make it cute):
A VERY easy way to “call it good” on V-Day is picking up some overpriced booze, a ~specific~ favorite beer of theirs, or wine you both like and a box of Godiva. Boys are simple minded, and if they can put their mouth around it, they’ll probably like it. I linked some ideas below in case your incompetent of figuring this one out on your own.
Hendrick’s Gin– ~$40: Go to the fucking liquor store
Johnnie Walker Blue Label– ~$150: Go to the fucking liquor store
Patron Silver– ~$50: Go to the fucking liquor store
Bell’s Two Hearted Ale– ~$12: Go to the fucking liquor store
Personalized 6 pack case– $16: Amazon Site
Personalized Air pod Cases:
Honestly these are a great investment if your bf has Air Pods. I have one of these little doo-hickeys and its legit the only thing that reminds me that I own these stupid headphones and thus- makes me charge/wear them more often. Etsy has a ton of ~manly~ choices so your boyfriend’s friends don’t ridicule him.
Personalized Air Pod Case– $19: Etsy Site
No, I’m not talking about the nude/lingerie ones thotiana, sit down- that was SO 2019. We’re talking Shutterfly, aka the easiest way to make sure your boyfriend never forgets you even if you break up because these are too cute to ever get rid of. This is especially good if you’ve been dating awhile, just went on a fun vaca together, or if you take too many snapchats that all look the same (also stop doing that you weirdo).
Personalized Photobooks– $25: Shutterfly Site
Alright that’s all I have for you. So, if your boyfriend hates, sports, smells, hats, alcohol, music and pictures… Well… Get a new boyfriend.
Happy Valentine’s day (week) from Sex And The Suburbs to all of my hot followers. Your support means the world and I can’t thank you enough for still reading this train-wreck of a website.