Just The Tip(s)

Why Dairy Is The Devil

Welcome to another week of Sex and The Suburbs. If you’ve stuck around long enough to make it into this piece of content, I’m genuinely impressed and my ego is slightly enlarging just by the mere thought of at least one person keeping up with this blog this long.

If you haven’t been able to tell, each week has its own theme (by the time I post this I’ll probably have given this up but what the hell lmfao) and this week, we’re getting physical ladies, and for once, we’re not talking about sex, we’re talking about ~health~. To kick things off I thought I would make a post based off the one thing I can never shut the fuck up about, and that is being dairy-free.

Along with texting in all lowercase letters, using fuck as a regular adjective, and bleaching my hair a brighter shade of white every time something traumatic happens to me, I have adopted being dairy-free as a personality trait. This all started the summer going into my senior year of college, I wasn’t working that summer due to a slight mental breakdown…lmfao (and also not getting an internship that year LMFAO X2) so I had a lot of free time… In this free time, I decided to put my energy into my health which was deteriorating by the minute due to my unhealthy relationship I developed the year prior with food and the scale. I took up fitness classes at my gym (shout out Lifetime Fitness ayee), started throwin’ in more water and vegetables, and stopped starving myself like a psychopath (we’ll get into that later this week).

As I started focusing on actually being healthy instead of “being skinny” I started noticing a lot of changes in my body, my energy levels, and my overall feelings about myself, but something was still super off. I had cystic acne all lining my chin that was painful as absolute shit and so many breakouts I couldn’t keep up with. I always felt super bloated and my face, hands, legs, and belly area seemed to be super swollen at all times. Basically, I was a walking disaster and I didn’t even know what to do at that point considering I was drinking hella water, working out adequately, and no longer a regular at Dog Central.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m actually not an only child lmfao. Super random time to bring this up lmao. I have a brother, he’s 26 and the complete opposite person considering I am usually the loudest person in the room, and he is almost always the quietest. Of the few things we have in common, great hair, funny as fuck, talented as shit; he’s actually the one that suggested I stop eating the devil’s creation and give up cheese, milk, cream, butter, and whatever the fuck else contains the mucous bullshit you people call DAIRY. He had done it the year prior and it completely changed his skin. Shout out to Connor for making me a changed woman.

Anyway. I decided I would stop eating it for a week (I liked queso alright) and see if I could even handle it. Long story short, 7 days later I literally gave it all up cold turkey. My skin cleared up, I lost a shit ton of water weight because my body was literally rejecting the toxic bullshit mucous NASTY animal product I was putting into my body, I slept better, I felt better, I honestly became a better person because I stopped eating fucking dairy.

You guys for real tho, not to tell you what to do, but like… to tell you what to do… stop eating that bullshit. It’s literally puss and mucous that you’re putting into your body. So many animals are abused in the process, it isn’t good for you, it isn’t an essential in your diet, and there are SO. MANY. SUBSTITUTES. Almond milk slaps, dairy free ranch legit tastes the exact same, for Christ’s sake Whole Foods even makes a vegan queso so let your freak flag FLY. Of all the things I have allowed to enter my body, dairy is by far the worst.


Yeah, that’s how serious I am.

‘til Wednesday, xoxo,

Carlie Bradshaw

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