I’m backkkkk.
Hopefully, you all binge-watched all the TV series I suggested, if not, idfwy.
Ru tired asf of you the boring ass movies you keep watching over and over again?
Well, I am here with your perfect fix.
For part 2 I thought I would stay with my screen theme here and give you all a little cinematic indulgence if you don’t feel like committing to watching a full season of a show (which is weird because you have nothing but time right now but whatever).
Below I’ve listed some movies for you to watch during quarantine. Don’t worry, they aren’t your typical “oMg WaTcH tHe FuLl HaRrY pOtTeR tRiLoGy” suggestions and surprisingly enough, Legally Blonde also didn’t make the cut. These are films that are not typical of the basic movie watcher, but more so some Netflix/Hulu/Amazon Prime Video hidden gems. Well… I wouldn’t say they’re all gems, but I can promise that for most, you’ll for sure be entertained.
12 Movies I Fucking Love & You Will Too
Something Great
If you’re into pop culture you probably know this as the movie that put Lizzo’s ‘Truth Hurts’ on the map last summer. If you’re rolling your eyes rn- lol I feel you, but don’t let that overplayed train wreck of a song put you off. This movie is what every girl needs to watch after a really hard break up. It’ll make you laugh, probs cry if you’re a pussy like me, and you’ll get in some weird feels that actually help you cope with what you’re going through. I absolutely love this Netflix movie for a few different reasons, but mainly because it isn’t cliché like most city-based rom coms we all have grown accustomed to over the years. I seriously would recommend this movie to anyone; you will not be disappointed.
Hush
Switching gears here, this movie is super suspenseful, and I guess “scary” if you’re a pussy and a scary movie virgin (or just an actual virgin). Anyways- suspenseful. Basically, this chick is deaf asf but she’s an independent bad bitch, so she lives alone in this dank ass house with her fluffy ass cat in the middle of the woods A L O N E. In retrospect- not the greatest of ideas but my girl is confident in her abilities so cut her some slack. While she’s out here doin’ her thang, writing her next book and such, this psychopath comes a-knockin’ and shit gets crazy. There is minimal talking during this entire film so major ‘A Quiet Place’ vibes but the plot is so interesting you’ll be glued to your screen the entire time. I’ve watched this movie a few times now because I’ve had to show off its cinematic excellence to all my friends, boys I want to watch ~scary~ movies with, and my mom, lol and every time I’m still just as hooked; definitely one of the best movies on Netflix.
Parasite
So my best friend suggested I watch this movie on Hulu and all I have to say is, Nicole you’re a fucking nutcase. I watched this movie and legit chewed off all the fucking skin around my fingers so if you’re feeling like having a full blown anxiety attack, pls by all means throw this on your tv. I legit was SCREAMING watching this by my FUCKING SELF like a legit weirdo and I’m not even kidding when I say, my mouth is still wide open typing out this synopsis. Actually though what the fuck. This movie won a few different awards and rightfully so. The entire thing is in subtitles so your instagram feed will have to wait for a few hours so you can read along; but I swear, it’s worth it. To sum it up I guess I’ll say this, this film incorporates many different themes throughout the entire production and regardless of a language barrier, it is so well portrayed. The ending is absolutely fucking bonkers and I will now be scarred for life after watching this. Please watch this movie, you will NOT be dissapointed.
The Barkley Marathons: The Race That Eats Its Young
Okay, this one is weird as fuck. A few co-workers suggested I watch this documentary on Amazon Prime Video, and I was super skeptical because it sounded fucking boring. It’s about the Barkley marathon which is a trail race that is held annually in March/ early April in Frozen Head State Park in Tennessee. This shit is 100 miles long which actually makes my asthmatic lungs shrivel up just typing that (I can barely run 2 miles for my warmup when I work out RIP). The race has a 40-person limit and a 60-hour completion limit which is fucking nuts to even consider staying awake for one day let alone RUNNING- in the MOUNTAINS- for TWO (???!?!) but yet all these psychotic people do this voluntarily every year. I could write an entire blog post about the insane conditions of running this race, the weird entry fee/rituals, the injuries these people get, all that jazz- but for sake of not ruining this truly interesting phenomenon, I’ll leave it at that for you to watch the rest. I’ll legitimately lend you my Amazon Prime account to watch this because I need someone to freak out about this nonsense to. Thank you.
My Friend Dahmer
Let me start out by saying: of all the movies on this list, this is ranked very low in my opinion, but nonetheless still deserves an honorable mention. For those of you who don’t know, or forgot from AP Psych in high school, Jeffrey Dahmer is the dude who ate a bunch of people (he was also a serial killer but I thought the cannibalism would ring more bells). This movie is a story about his adolescence and life in high school. If you’re in the mood to be totally uncomfortable and weirded out, please watch this film! A part of me always feels super twisted when I watch these movies about serial killers and fucking feel bad for them (???) when they get bullied and shit (I seriously hope I’m not the only person that feels this way lmk). This film isn’t a documentary type movie, but more so a story on Jeff’s ~teen~ experience, and his twisted fucking obsession with death, killing shit, and all that jazz. If you liked the Ted Bundy movie, you’ll probably like this one. The guy who plays Dahmer is no Zac Efron so don’t get pumped in that regard, but for all my psych loving weirdos out there, hop on Amazon Prime Video cuz this is def for you.
Brittany Runs A Marathon
Okay, this one is strictly on Prime Video as well so if you don’t have that then first off please get your ass out of poverty (?), and second… I hope you enjoy waiting more than two days for your Amazon package you fucking sociopath??? Lifetime fitness must have sponsored this damn film because every day this past summer, I would walk up the stairs to my daily hour of death- I mean workout- and see this huge ass sign promoting movie. Months (and a forced quarantine) later I was up to finally watch this shit and to my surprise, I actually enjoyed it. Brittany is the ~funny~ gal and packs a little extra weight and a little less sex appeal than her skinny hot friends which like hey, hello- Britt, girl, I FEEL you. I like the message this movie gives because it wasn’t what I expected it to be. In the beginning, she’s super insecure, eats like shit, hates her job, the whole pre-glow up nine yards. I had assumed by the end of the movie she would get super into running, get all cute, and fit, and shit, and live happily ever after: boring, blah, done. To my surprise, this movie was not cliché. You follow Brittany’s journey as she joins this runners club and slowly but surely gets addicted to the process (which if you’ve ever been into working out is totally relatable) and even gets inspired to run a marathon (less relatable lol). At first, things are great; she’s losing a bunch of weight, getting super healthy and in shape, even gets a ~love interest~. The message quickly shifts though, as her obsession with losing weight, and “not being fat” turns her into a total fucking bitch and she starts to lose a lot more shit than just weight: friends, confidence, direction. She goes from one extreme to the other and this movie shows how having a balance is so important (aw, lessons<3). As much as I just word vomited, I surprisingly didn’t ruin the movie for you (this shit has a lot of twists and turns) so give my girl Britt a shout and watch this, it’s super good.
What Happened to Monday
MMKAY, WHAT THE FUCK DIDDDD HAPPEN TO MONDAY?! THIS right HERE is one of my absolute FUCKING favorites and you guessed it, a Netflix OG. If you liked Black Mirror (which you also guessed it, I did), you will LOVE this sci-fi weird-ass movie. This takes place in the future where the characters live in a world where families are only allowed one child due to overpopulation. Since the future is super techy in the world of this movie, everyone is microchipped (they take the whole one child thing super seriously) so they’re all basically controlled by the government in everything they do (lol). So this bitch gives birth to 7 kids, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and they all live life under one alias and act as her out in the world on their designated name/day of the week. Long story short: one day Monday’s bitch-ass doesn’t come home so Tuesday-Sunday wig out and gotta go look for her hence the name: What Happened to Monday. This movie is so fucking interesting and kept my ADD head-ass self in check the entire 2 fucking hours I streamed this film. Give it a go. You’re welcome.
Always Be My Maybe
Okay, we LOVE a good Asian/American Netflix love story. This one is super out of pocket for being something I’m into, but I really genuinely enjoyed it. The movie is about this girl Sasha and this guy Marcus who were BFFs as kids and were super into each other but fall out of touch for like 15 years (tragic). As adults, Sasha is a badass chef who finds herself back in her hometown of San Fran to open a new restaurant where she runs into her childhood beau once again. Marcus in his adult life is a struggling musician (how fucking lame) so these bitches are on complete opposite spectrums. It can be cheesy at times and a little predictable but definitely worth the watch if you’re in bed eating ice cream and need a good rom-com to get you through your pint- I mean night.
The Perfect Date
Alrighty. I shamefully will admit I am obsessed with Noah Centineo. There, I fucking said it. If I had a type, it would probs be him, I’m a sucker for fluffy hair and good teeth. Whatever. Okay anyways. So yummy Mr. Centineo plays the role of this high schooler who develops an app where people can basically pay him to be a “perfect date” for themselves or for someone else. Noah’s character goes and hangs out with all these basic hoes and then after one of the dates he starts to fall for the ~quirky~ girl- this is fucking annoying, and the girl has awful style, but the storyline is cute. This movie is like a whole ass hour and 30 so there isn’t much time commitment, don’t worry.
When We First Met
This was my first ~Netflix Original~ movie I ever watched before I decided I was hooked on these fucking films lol. When We First Met stars Adam DeVine who you probs recognize from Pitch Perfect, Workaholics, or Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates just to name a few. The movie is about Adam meeting this bitch (who also has a cameo in the show, New Girl, haaay) at a Halloween party who he finds super yummy but fucks it up like every other man on the planet and gets FRIEND ZONED and lives a life of regret, the end!!! Just kidding lol. Shout out to Netflix for the cinematic magic because bam bam chicken and ham Adam’s character gets to GO back in TIME and redo the whole night they met over again to finally get things right. No this is not how the movie ends; no, I will not ruin it for you. Watch.
Ibiza
This is a good one if you’re having spontaneity withdrawal or if you’re a nutcase (Hannah you’ll love this one). Again on Netflix, and again, an original movie lmao. This movie follows the main character, Harper who travels to Barcelona for business and meets this hot DJ who is super famous. I don’t remember his name so don’t fucking ask me it doesn’t matter. Harper is a dumb bitch, so she follows this dude to Ibiza, parties, and shit, and then has to get back to Barcelona for her work meeting. I seriously wish there was more of a plotline to this movie than just that but what I just wrote is actually the entire script of this movie. A bunch of dumb cliché shit happens after that but I suppose I won’t spoil it for you considering I’ve already made this movie seem 10x more asinine than it actually is. Lol.
XOXO
EAT SLEEP RAVE REPEAT AYEEE PLUR! I watched this Netflix movie when I was packing for Electric Forest like two summers ago to get into my rave girl persona. Shit must have really hit different because two hours later I dyed my hair pink. Lol. XOXO is a cheesy teen movie based on like 5 different points of view at the same fest. The music is really good which is half the reason I was so hype about this movie when I added it to the list because I forgot how much it BANGED!! Perfect to be quarantined in your house with nothing to do and no one to hang out with (sarcasm). But seriously, every time I watch this movie I get so nostalgic and happy. Sarah Hyland is also my WCW and has the cutest little outfit so you can get some inspo for your post quarantine concert/fest fits for like 2022… who knows. This movie also has a love story so if you’re into that pansy shit then buckle up.
Okay, that’s all I’ve got for you. After typing this all out I feel like I just exposed myself to all of my blog followers because this is actually a steady fucking line up of some absolute JAMS on your favorite streaming services. So, if you were ever to take my advice, hopefully it will be now.
All laughs aside, I hope that everyone is truly taking care of themselves during this hard time. Being alone is inevitable right now but FEELING alone is not. If you or someone you care about is not acting themselves please reach out to seek appropriate help for them or for you. Please remember that we are in the midst of a national Pandemic; there is no correct way to feel, cope, or get through this time so don’t feel pressured to tie dye you’re whole fucking room or read 120 books by June 1st. If you feel like catching up on sleep, meditating, sitting in bed, and eating pancakes with your cat that is just fucking fine too.
Mental health is something I am super passionate about and something I feel has become very taboo in today’s day and age. As much as I preach about not giving a fuck and going through life with your hair in the wind, it’s fucking okay to not be okay sometimes.
What isn’t okay, is staying like that.
Everyone deserves a piece of happiness, a sense of peace, and a community, or a circle of people to feel secure and to feel themselves in. The world is scary right now, unpredictable, and cold, so take care of yourself, both physically and mentally and stay strong.
We’ll get through this together.
‘Til next week.
xoxo,
Carlie Bradshaw
Sex & The Suburbs 